a cave troll's story
by Turan
Summary: Remember the cave troll that was killed by the Fellowship? This is the story of his afterlife. Don't like, don't read. R&R plz! slash I suck at sumarys.


I don't own any element of the story. Don't like, don't sue.

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Gluk was nowhere. "Where Gluk?" he asked. There was nothing in front of him. He turned a hundred and eighty degrees. There was nothing behind him. He turned ninety degrees. There was nothing to the right of him. He turned a hundred and eighty degrees. There was nothing behind him. He looked up. There was nothing above him. He looked down. There was nothing below him. "Where Gluk?" he asked again.

"This is Purgatory, my son," a serene voice said as a man appeared out of, quite literally, no where.

"Purgtry?" Gluk tried to sound out the word. "What purgtry?"

"It is a place you go when you are not good enough to go to heaven and not evil enough to go to hell. An in between place where you go until your soul is clean."

"How long?"

"Until your soul is clean," the man repeated.

"Who you?"

"I have many names. Vishnu, Lamb of God, Joshua. I am usually known by my Greek name, Jesus. I have taken a special interest in you, my son. Your death was especially tragic."

Gluk felt rage bubble up within in him. Cave trolls only feel four basic emotions: rage, smashing, lust and happy kitten love. If he could feel joy, he would have enjoyed the feel of rage.

"Half! Man! Sharp! Pointy!" His voice devolved into grunts. Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit, so he knew what the cave trolls was saying. "I say, I am quite embarrassed to admit that a small group made of Halflings, men, a tiny troll and a prancy git that must have been female killed me. I did not expect such a thing; their weapons were smaller than my teeth! Oh, dear. My mother would be so ashamed of me."

"You did all you could do," Jesus said solemnly.

Huge tears welled up in Gluk's eyes. "What Gluk do now?"

"You're in purgatory. That means you have some soul cleansing to do."

"Gluk not know how."

"That is why I am here, Gluk." Jesus used his God-powers and made Gluk's loin cloth disappear. The cave troll saw Jesus staring at his nakedness with lust in his eyes. The look was not unlike a male cave troll staring at a female with whom he was about to mate.

"Gluk not like this."

Jesus moved closer. "It's all right, Gluk. Be not afraid." He reached up and gripped Gluk's fat cock in his hands and began to rub it. "I only wish to know you. Kneel, Gluk."

Gluk knelt obediently and Jesus opened his mouth, stretching it until he could fit the tip of Gluk's massive cock in his mouth. He slowly worked more in, his tongue swirling along the pebbly underside. He gagged once as the pecker entered his throat and then he relaxed as the Magdalene had taught him, once again grateful for her firm instruction. He swallowed as much of the bumpy cock as he could, not even reaching the half-way mark. He began bobbing up and down slowly, forcing himself to gain speed.

Erotic grunting came from Gluk's throat as Jesus used his God-powers to fondle Gluk's balls. He felt the cave troll's cock stiffen in his mouth and then he came. Oh, God-His-Father, did Gluk come. Bucket after bucket poured from the cave troll's bumpy and very large cock, covering the Son of Man. Jesus gave up swallowing and waited patiently for the cave troll to stop. When he didn't feel any more being added, he dug his way out of the viscous and putrid mountain of beige cave troll come.

"Gluk like that," Gluk said, smiling happily.

Jesus smiled. "I thought you might. Now, you can return the happy feelings you just felt."

"Gluk—"

"I'll teach you." Jesus stripped off his heavenly robe and stared down at his own circumcised cock. Gluk could easily harm him, so he used his God-powers to increase his size several times. He lay on his back. "Just take the Sacred Cock in your mouth. Good. Now suck it gently." He closed his eyes and threw his head back, moaning in pure ecstasy.

He could feel the come well up within him. Oh, God-His-Father, the cave troll's untried mouth was wonderful. He was surprisingly gently. His eyes flew open as Gluk's mouth left his Sacred Cock and the cave troll flipped him over.

"Gluk, my son, what are you doing?"

"Male Gluks mate when no female Gluks around," the cave troll said matter-of-factly. Jesus felt the cave troll's massive dick against his tiny rosebud and willed himself to relax. The cock was much larger than Judas', much larger, even, than Pilate's. He used his God-powers again to enlarge himself and shrink Gluk slightly to ease the cave troll's passge.

"Oh, Father, you're too big!" Jesus grunted. Gluk ignored him as he quickly shoved himself into the Lamb of God. Jesus screamed in pain as he felt his tender sphincter tear, but Gluk saw the blood and instinctively used it as lubrication. He drove his bumpy, massive cock farther into Jesus. Pain ripped through the Christian Savior and increased until he passed out; Gluk took no notice and continued to fuck the Messiah as hard as he could.

Throwing back his head, Gluk howled in pleasure as he came again, spewing more beige come into Jesus. The force of his cave troll seed worked its way through Jesus' body and out of his mouth and nose. Gluk slowly, and very reluctantly, withdrew his cock.

"Gluk happy," the cave troll said, clapping his humungous paws. "Jesus?" he asked the lifeless body. He nudged it with a giant hand. "Gluk say wake!" he commanded. The body remained still. He turned away, huge tears again forming in his eyes. "Gluk kill Jesus! God angry with Gluk," he sobbed.

"Nonsense," a voice behind him declared.

Gluk turned and grunted in surprise. "But Gluk kill Jesus. Gluk know dead body and Jesus dead body."

Jesus grinned. "You're forgetting one very important thing, Gluk. I'm Jesus. I _can't_ stay dead." His grin became coy. "I think you've paid your penance, Gluk. The Kingdom of Heaven is opened to you now."

"Gluk happy!" the troll shouted. "Where heaven?"

"Follow me." Jesus led Gluk seemingly toward nothing, but in one moment they were in Purgatory and in the next, they were standing outside of a tall wall. "This is the gate to heaven. Enter, my son, for you have proven yourself worthy."

The gates slowly swung open and as Gluk lumbered toward them, a small and older man looked up from a desk. "You must be Gluk." He turned his bespectacled gaze to Jesus. "He good?"

"He has passed the test, Peter."

The man smiled. "Wonderful! Enter and be at peace, dear Gluk."

"Go on," Jesus urged. "I'll come by later to see how you've settled in." His look caused Gluk to grunt happily and he entered heaven.

"You'll have to introduce us formally when I get off work," Saint Peter said, a small smile painted on his face.

"Of course," Jesus said. "Maybe we can invite the Magdalene. She's never had a cave troll to play with."


End file.
